- 02 Nov 2025
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Giving feedback well is one of the hardest – and most valuable – parts of professional life. Whether you’re leading a team, mentoring a junior colleague, or supporting a peer, the ability to give honest feedback with clarity and care is what helps people grow – and builds trust in the process.
Yet many of us hesitate. We worry about damaging relationships, getting it wrong, or opening a difficult conversation. The result? Feedback is either sugar-coated until it loses meaning, or avoided altogether.
Here are five simple ways to make feedback more effective and less uncomfortable – for you and for the person receiving it.
- Separate feedback from identity
Feedback should be about behaviour and impact, not about personal worth. Instead of “you’re not very clear in meetings,” you could say “in yesterday’s meeting, your points were strong, but they were hard to follow because there was a lot of background detail – summarising first might help the group follow your argument.”
Being specific and neutral keeps feedback focused on what can change, rather than on who someone is.
- Use a two-way frame
Feedback isn’t a monologue. Think of it as a shared enquiry: “Can I offer some thoughts?” or “Can I check how you felt that went?” opens the door to reflection and dialogue. When people feel part of the process, they’re more receptive and less defensive.
- Balance candour with care
Being kind doesn’t mean avoiding hard truths. It means delivering them with care and respect. A simple rule of thumb: if your motive is genuinely to help the other person grow, it will come through.
Don’t dilute what needs to be said, but do cushion it with the belief that they can improve. “I know this isn’t easy feedback, but I’m saying it because I think you can really develop here”.
- Focus on the future
Feedback is most powerful when it points forward. “Next time, you could try…” gives someone a route to success, whereas “that didn’t go well” just leaves them stuck in the past.
Where possible, invite their ideas: “What would you do differently next time?” helps them take ownership of the change.
- Practise feedback as a habit, not an event
If feedback only happens at appraisal time, it becomes loaded with anxiety. But if it’s part of everyday culture – small, timely comments and appreciation as well as constructive challenge – and if you invite feedback yourself – people come to expect and value it.
Aim for balance: notice and acknowledge what’s going well at least as often as you highlight what could be improved.
Why it matters
Giving feedback well takes practice, self-awareness and courage – but it’s one of the greatest gifts you can give as a colleague or leader. Done well, it helps others see what they can’t see themselves and builds a culture of trust and growth.
If you’d like support developing your team’s confidence and skill in giving feedback, get in touch – I can design a tailored session to help your team have better, braver conversations.